I missed out on a pretty big writing opportunity at the end of my last post. Let's just pretend this is some crazy time warp thing and somehow the tattoo post has been connected and finished here. Deal. The tattoo was a well thought out commitment inspired by a dream, and the better ending to that post is that I am just trying to make my dreams come true. See ya, soapbox.
So there hasn't been too much writing happening for me because there hasn't been too much excitement worthy of sharing. Scratch that, Marissa and I finally, after one year in our place, sorted out bike storage. With some help from my dad and his wizardry we were able to get a space-saving solution figured out that isn't incredibly damaging to our rental walls. Celebrate!
I have this blog for a reason, and I want to take advantage of that. One of my goals this Fall and Winter was to not be overcome by my accident. I wanted to just move on. I didn't want my devastating injuries to be the only thing that I ever was able to talk about. The crash doesn't need to consume me nor the people who follow me, but I have come to grips with the fact that it is indeed life-changing and I need this blog as an outlet. I really value being open and this blog has always stood as a memory bank for my experiences. Regardless of my goal to not be consumed by this new world, this is an experience that I will have as part of my lifetime forever and I want to record it. This is now a part of who I am, and I can accept that.
This post was inspired by some action and direction, which now, almost 5 months in, is something to treasure. Initially healing was a rapid and steep progression, but not long into the process it became a plateau. Gone are the massive daily changes and those are replaced by things less noticeable to the human eye. Until recently that was my world. Then, after 13 weeks, I got to take the neck brace off. That was quite freeing and I've been working diligently to regain strength and range of motion. As range of motion slowly returned to a closer-to-normal zone, I was able to get back in the driver's seat of a car a bit after the four-month window had passed. These two improvements felt like massive leaps, and with the return of some more normalcy came a large morale boost as well.
This Thursday I have another big step, and that is my first surgery as part of recovery. I haven't been able to open my mouth more than ~50%, and because of that haven't been able to get my teeth fixed. This first surgery will start the correction process to help get me back to full ability with my mouth. As soon as the sutures heal, I can head to the dentist. Once I have teeth again, I will be able to eat a burrito! Has any other cyclist ever gone 5 months without a burrito? That's the number one food item on my post-surgery/teeth list. Then maybe an apple without cutting it first.
Those are what show up when you search happy burrito or something along those lines on the Google machine. I'm weird for searching that. But SUPER happy to find the "7 stages of eating a burrito" blog post.
Let's talk about bikes now, because bikes are rad and I like them. I'm still awaiting clearance from the Doctor's to determine how my TBI has progressed and when I will be able to ride outdoors again, but for now I still am turning things over every day indoors. Is there a record for consecutive indoor rides? In an entirely unrelated thing, is there a record for pure volume of sweat-loss while riding a bike indoors? Just curious, asking for a friend.
The trainer, although a pretty rude training buddy, has helped me a lot throughout this recovery process. With the aforementioned plateau in healing, seeing even the most minuscule of improvements on my Garmin screen gave me a consistent way to track how my body has been recovering. With the reintroduction of driving into my world, I was able to get myself and my bike to Herriott Sports Performance to try riding on the rollers. After 3 months of stationary riding, it was such bliss to have to balance a bike again. Since that first time, I have ridden the trainer once in the past month- instead always choosing to ride the rollers. It's been a pretty big boost to my mental game to have the rollers as an option now because besides having to balance: time goes by faster ; it just feels like bike riding ; and my power is, an at times shocking to me, 70-120 watts higher.
I'm going to rent a flat bed truck, put the rollers in the back of that, and have someone drive me around so I can "ride outdoors". Or just do this:
As I'm sure you all know, it's 2015. If you missed out on that I'm glad I could help. Marissa and I went to a friend's house to welcome in the New Year and both stayed up way past our bed times. There was a toast made that really rang true to how I was feeling about saying goodbye to 2014. I don't remember it word for word, but the message was that with the changing of the year, it is a good time to be proud and highlight the good that has happened and to not feel anger towards the bad that happened. It is part of you, but it doesn't define you.
I have a lot to be thankful for. I did successful 20 minute intervals today and now I'm laying on the couch unable to move much further. I love this feeling.
Tweet
Tuesday, January 6, 2015
Monday, November 24, 2014
The story of the tattoo
I had some questions about the tattoo. I got it because I wanted to be like Doug Sumi. End of blog post.
In a more serious way, I thought I'd share with you my tattoo and my full reasons behind it. First:
Alright, so there's my new tattoo. It healed pretty quickly and I'm getting used to seeing it on myself.
As a little back story, I've always been a very vivid dreamer. My whole life I'm used to having lots of dreams and great recollection of those dreams in the morning. If not a dream, I'll be able to recall what I was thinking about before falling asleep quite regularly. I dream often - occasionally three times a week.
Since the my accident and TBI, I've had zero dreams.
That's a small exaggeration. I had one dream about five weeks post-crash and nothing before and nothing since. That dream was very vivid and very clear- and as I woke up and recalled it- it was quite powerful. Having had a blank slate for such a long time made this dream feel extraordinary.
In this dream I got a tattoo of a plus sign on my left wrist. I drew it out in a very specific Sharpie and was able to get a feel on if I liked it enough to get it.
I thought about it for several days, then decided to find that Sharpie. Thinking about it more, I started to see the reasonings behind the plus sign. To me, I think of the plus symbol as a visible form of positivity. Math nerd. Throughout my whole recovery in the hospital, I'd always try to find the good in whatever was happening. I'd look to unlimited extents to find the positive in things, and it truly helped me deeply while suffering in the hospital. I knew that this recovery will be a long road and being positive through it will be something that I always need to rely on.
I drew lots of options in a notepad, and tried out several variations on my wrist in Sharpie.
I decided on the outline with open ends because it also represents a crossroads to me. This accident has been life-changing and will always be a part of me. This tattoo represents how I have and will carry myself through this recovery and the rest of my life.
Continuing on, the more I thought about my dream the more it made greater sense to me. The wrist seemed like a good spot for many reasons: It's easy for me to see, but also not flashy. It's visible to me while I'm riding- so even though I'm riding the trainer- I can be positive while I'm doing it. Also, you better believe that when I win again, it will be very visible in the victory salute. See that! That's being positive right there.
So I drew countless plus signs on my wrists, talked to my "tattooed friend" (asked Tre some questions) and finally got it done after lots of thought to make sure that I was not blindly following a dream like some crazy person.
I never thought I'd get a tattoo. I never thought I'd put such weight into a dream. I've been craving normalcy, and a dream is a semblance of that. Also, I was super tough guying this whole process. I thought that I was invincible and nothing could cause me pain through the tattooing. WRONG! 98% of the tattoo didn't bother me, but going over the tendons was definitely a much more noticeable pain. I've got lots of respect for people who get teardrop tattoos on their faces now!
So that's that.Tweet
In a more serious way, I thought I'd share with you my tattoo and my full reasons behind it. First:
![]() |
| Photo credit: Graham Watson |
As a little back story, I've always been a very vivid dreamer. My whole life I'm used to having lots of dreams and great recollection of those dreams in the morning. If not a dream, I'll be able to recall what I was thinking about before falling asleep quite regularly. I dream often - occasionally three times a week.
Since the my accident and TBI, I've had zero dreams.
That's a small exaggeration. I had one dream about five weeks post-crash and nothing before and nothing since. That dream was very vivid and very clear- and as I woke up and recalled it- it was quite powerful. Having had a blank slate for such a long time made this dream feel extraordinary.
In this dream I got a tattoo of a plus sign on my left wrist. I drew it out in a very specific Sharpie and was able to get a feel on if I liked it enough to get it.
I thought about it for several days, then decided to find that Sharpie. Thinking about it more, I started to see the reasonings behind the plus sign. To me, I think of the plus symbol as a visible form of positivity. Math nerd. Throughout my whole recovery in the hospital, I'd always try to find the good in whatever was happening. I'd look to unlimited extents to find the positive in things, and it truly helped me deeply while suffering in the hospital. I knew that this recovery will be a long road and being positive through it will be something that I always need to rely on.
I drew lots of options in a notepad, and tried out several variations on my wrist in Sharpie.
I decided on the outline with open ends because it also represents a crossroads to me. This accident has been life-changing and will always be a part of me. This tattoo represents how I have and will carry myself through this recovery and the rest of my life.
Continuing on, the more I thought about my dream the more it made greater sense to me. The wrist seemed like a good spot for many reasons: It's easy for me to see, but also not flashy. It's visible to me while I'm riding- so even though I'm riding the trainer- I can be positive while I'm doing it. Also, you better believe that when I win again, it will be very visible in the victory salute. See that! That's being positive right there.
So I drew countless plus signs on my wrists, talked to my "tattooed friend" (asked Tre some questions) and finally got it done after lots of thought to make sure that I was not blindly following a dream like some crazy person.
I never thought I'd get a tattoo. I never thought I'd put such weight into a dream. I've been craving normalcy, and a dream is a semblance of that. Also, I was super tough guying this whole process. I thought that I was invincible and nothing could cause me pain through the tattooing. WRONG! 98% of the tattoo didn't bother me, but going over the tendons was definitely a much more noticeable pain. I've got lots of respect for people who get teardrop tattoos on their faces now!
So that's that.Tweet
Friday, November 7, 2014
Real updates!
Hey all, I wanted to send a little positive bird flying from my direction towards your windowsills. I think metaphors can be hilarious, case in point that one right before this sentence!
Let's see.. halloween happened, and Marissa and I attended a costume party at a friend's house. I tweeted around halloween-time: "When wearing a neck brace you can call anything a Halloween costume. Easiest holiday ever!" I was NOT joking! You see, neck braces make it so pretty much anything you choose to dress up as has a little flair of inaccuracy. Want to be Robin Hood? Maybe the prince of thieves with a sore neck! A banana costume? Sure, if your banana happened to have a sleeve guarding it from bruises! What I've decided is you pretty much can wear anything you want and the neck brace fits into the costume. Seriously, Google search "costume ideas with neck brace" and there aren't very many options. So when Marissa was loaned a 1950's era dress and makeup, I had to fit with that because nothing is more adorable than couple costumes. Except maybe puppies. So I decided that I'd be rocking blue jeans, white shirt and older shoes. Oh right, and a neck brace. That made me... James Dean POST fatal car crash. Boom! Then I consulted this chart from GQ magazine to determine if that could be seen as a "too soon" type costume:
If anyone's offended, I was dressed as James Dean but recently hurt my neck so I have to wear the brace.
Right, so if I'm dressing up in costume (jeans and a tshirt) things have to be going well, right? Things are going great! Here's an update for y'all:
Recovery is a slow process, and gone are the daily incredible changes. That's a great thing because I have been feeling normal for quite awhile and that's been awesome. I had a long stretch of head injury related issues, but I've progressed away from those and am able to thrive back at my own home without a need for supervision. I get excited about doing little things now, like going to the grocery store or cooking dinner! The neck brace is still around, but the great news is that yesterday I got the all clear to start weening off of it. That means when I'm at home I don't need to wear it, but any time I'm out and about I need to have it on. As of now the weening process is about a week, but could be longer depending on how my neck and head respond. Sleeping is WAY easier without a neck brace on! I'm happy to, in a week or so, be able to start working on PT to get some motion back in my neck. It's amazing how much functionality you lose while stagnant for so long, and the athlete in me is very excited to have the ability to improve upon that. My lips, teeth, and cheeks are still about the same but I graduated from drinking out of a syringe to a straw, and now am trying to learn how to drink without a tool. It's way more enjoyable drinking a coffee from a mug compared to a straw, believe me. I'm doing alright and besides an occasional - ok fairly regular- spill, I am way happier to be drinking more normally. I'm hopeful my lip and teeth fixes will be able to happen soon.
I still have quite some time before I will be cleared by the doctors to ride outdoors again, but nothing is stopping me from riding the trainer. This situation has given me the longest amount of time I've been away from riding in... forever maybe.... and with that comes the sensation of being truly out of shape. Luckily trainer riding doesn't accentuate that sensation. Ha! The good news is I'm working on being positive about this riding outlet so.... while all my competition are coasting and going downhill and stuff, I'm pedaling. Also sweating profusely.
I still can't drive and since I can't ride a bike either, I've learned of another form of transportation. Did you all know that by standing on your legs and moving your feet in a forwards direction, you can WALK for transpo?!?!?! That's right- me, who always avoided walking because of well, bikes- walking for the sake of getting places. Turns out that just riding the trainer isn't enough to tire a guy out (at least with my current training) so I've been going on walks in order to get outside and move a bit more. Does it count as walking for exercise if you also happen to stop for lunch or a coffee in the middle of your walk? shhhhhh
Who knows what's next. Maybe I'll pilot a rocketship because those people don't move their head around much either!
Also, sneak peak:
Never thought I'd get a tattoo, but a lot of things happened this year that I never thought would have. There's another!Tweet
Let's see.. halloween happened, and Marissa and I attended a costume party at a friend's house. I tweeted around halloween-time: "When wearing a neck brace you can call anything a Halloween costume. Easiest holiday ever!" I was NOT joking! You see, neck braces make it so pretty much anything you choose to dress up as has a little flair of inaccuracy. Want to be Robin Hood? Maybe the prince of thieves with a sore neck! A banana costume? Sure, if your banana happened to have a sleeve guarding it from bruises! What I've decided is you pretty much can wear anything you want and the neck brace fits into the costume. Seriously, Google search "costume ideas with neck brace" and there aren't very many options. So when Marissa was loaned a 1950's era dress and makeup, I had to fit with that because nothing is more adorable than couple costumes. Except maybe puppies. So I decided that I'd be rocking blue jeans, white shirt and older shoes. Oh right, and a neck brace. That made me... James Dean POST fatal car crash. Boom! Then I consulted this chart from GQ magazine to determine if that could be seen as a "too soon" type costume:
If anyone's offended, I was dressed as James Dean but recently hurt my neck so I have to wear the brace.
Right, so if I'm dressing up in costume (jeans and a tshirt) things have to be going well, right? Things are going great! Here's an update for y'all:
Recovery is a slow process, and gone are the daily incredible changes. That's a great thing because I have been feeling normal for quite awhile and that's been awesome. I had a long stretch of head injury related issues, but I've progressed away from those and am able to thrive back at my own home without a need for supervision. I get excited about doing little things now, like going to the grocery store or cooking dinner! The neck brace is still around, but the great news is that yesterday I got the all clear to start weening off of it. That means when I'm at home I don't need to wear it, but any time I'm out and about I need to have it on. As of now the weening process is about a week, but could be longer depending on how my neck and head respond. Sleeping is WAY easier without a neck brace on! I'm happy to, in a week or so, be able to start working on PT to get some motion back in my neck. It's amazing how much functionality you lose while stagnant for so long, and the athlete in me is very excited to have the ability to improve upon that. My lips, teeth, and cheeks are still about the same but I graduated from drinking out of a syringe to a straw, and now am trying to learn how to drink without a tool. It's way more enjoyable drinking a coffee from a mug compared to a straw, believe me. I'm doing alright and besides an occasional - ok fairly regular- spill, I am way happier to be drinking more normally. I'm hopeful my lip and teeth fixes will be able to happen soon.
I still have quite some time before I will be cleared by the doctors to ride outdoors again, but nothing is stopping me from riding the trainer. This situation has given me the longest amount of time I've been away from riding in... forever maybe.... and with that comes the sensation of being truly out of shape. Luckily trainer riding doesn't accentuate that sensation. Ha! The good news is I'm working on being positive about this riding outlet so.... while all my competition are coasting and going downhill and stuff, I'm pedaling. Also sweating profusely.
I still can't drive and since I can't ride a bike either, I've learned of another form of transportation. Did you all know that by standing on your legs and moving your feet in a forwards direction, you can WALK for transpo?!?!?! That's right- me, who always avoided walking because of well, bikes- walking for the sake of getting places. Turns out that just riding the trainer isn't enough to tire a guy out (at least with my current training) so I've been going on walks in order to get outside and move a bit more. Does it count as walking for exercise if you also happen to stop for lunch or a coffee in the middle of your walk? shhhhhh
Who knows what's next. Maybe I'll pilot a rocketship because those people don't move their head around much either!
Also, sneak peak:
Never thought I'd get a tattoo, but a lot of things happened this year that I never thought would have. There's another!Tweet
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
USA Pro Challenge race report
Yesterday I left off with the team presentation that officially kicked off the race festivities. Here are my memories from the first six stages of the USA Pro Challenge. It was an honor to be on the start line of this race.
Race hotel- hilarious art in rooms, hard to find way around, delicious spreads for toast at the buffet. Same meals every night (4 days!)
The race- Started
off feeling like a normal bike race. Then the neutral roll out stopped. Racing
at 9000 feet was… different… The short punchy climbs took their toll on me and
I was dropped in a small group up the run in to the final KOM of the day.
Meanwhile, Ben and Matt were up the road being all lithe and limber and stuff
winning KOM points and making our team look awesome.
Stage 2: Aspen to Crested Butte
Race Hotel- Same
as day 1
The Race- Ah yeah. This one. WOW. I’ve forgotten much of the less than
important details, but stage 2 was the day that the skies opened up as we rode
the final ¼ of the race on dirt mountain roads. I was dropped in a 15 rider or
so group when it was still brilliantly sunny, probably halfway up the final
dirt climb. We hit the top, it got dark, and we proceeded to descend down the
mountain on dirt roads in a thundering and lightning rain storm. I heard that
somewhere up the road they neutralized the main field and everyone got cold.
Our dropped group continued to ride for the length of the race.
We finished and our new hotel was about 500 meters from the
finish line. I got into the shower in full kit. Including shoes.
![]() |
| After I got done in the shower. |
Stage 3: Gunnison to Monarch Mountain
Race Hotel-
conveniently close to the finish of the day before. Very heavy woodsman vibe.
Meals were across the street somewhere else. Nothing stands out to me if they
were delicious or not. I’ll just assume they were.
The Race- This was the stage I was most nervous about leading into the race. I’m confident with how I climb at the NRC level, but this stage had an HC category climb up to 11+k feet right in the middle of the stage, then a Category 1 climb up to the finish. In the most convenient of things for probably everyone, there were crosswinds for the entire lead-in to the HC climb. That made people tired, which turned this stage into a 100+ rider grupetto. I accidentally was the first to cross the line at the end of the race out of the grupetto so if you look at only the results from this stage you’ll very wrongly assume that I had a great day.
Stage 4: Colorado Sprints Circuit Race
Race Hotel- very
nice hotel, except it was incredibly confusing. Good luck finding dinner here
because there were about 15 different wings of the hotel. I believe that the
dinners were good, and I’m fairly certain that THIS was the best dessert table
of the entire race. There were cakes, pies, tortes, fruits, cookies and bars,
and many other treats. Since we’re all bike racers, everyone judged each other
as they went back for their 5th serving of dessert. But everyone went for seconds, or more. Hopefully… Maybe THAT explains why I didn't win this darn race!
The Race- this
was my favorite stage of the USA Pro Challenge. Ben made the break again, which
would lock up his KOM lead. I figured this as one of the few opportunities for
a reduced bunch sprint, so I tried to race smart and position myself well in
the shrinking field. Things went well,
and I crested the steep final climb suffering badly but still in good position.
Then I looked up, and saw that it was my teammate Robbie Squire setting the
pace on the front of the field. No doubt trying to help catch the last
breakaway survivor (Jens Voigt) so the field sprint would occur, but I had to
jokingly give him a hard time after the race about putting me close to dropped!
I followed US National Champion Eric Marcotte and NRC Champion Travis McCabe as they jumped with around a kilometer to go. They strung it out, and I was 3rd wheel with 300 meters to go. I learned a valuable lesson on this stage, and that is that you can’t hesitate when sprinting against WorldTour riders. I got swarmed, and turned an amazing opportunity into a bunch of “OMG I saw you on TV” text messages and a valuable lesson for me.
This stage made me hungry for more.
Stage 5: Woodland Park to Breckenridge
Race hotel- Same
as Stage 4
The Race- Mostly
flat, with a big climb close to the finish, followed by a descent into another
finish climb. This stage was the most miserable I’ve ever been in a race as we
were pelted by cold rain, winds, and dark/dreary conditions. I froze, then we
started climbing, and life was good again. I crested the climb in the second
group, my best climb of the race, and did the technical descent well. I'm going to assume that this was my best climb of the race because of Winters spent training in the cold rain in Seattle. Tough man training! The
highlight from this stage was that I was in the Jens Voigt group, and people
love that guy. As we approached the final, crowd-packed climb, a person with a
speaker system announced to the crowd “and here comes the Jens Voigt group!!!!”
This turned a certainly already amazing environment into a deafening one.
Stage 6: Vail Time Trial
Race Hotel- I
don’t remember this one, but I do remember that sometime near the end of the
race we stayed in a hotel that was advertised at $750 dollars a night. I
believe it was this one. I’ll just assume that the food was amazing as well.
I just looked through my phone photos, and that reminded me
of something. THIS hotel was the one that I couldn’t figure out how to turn the
shower on in! Then Ben, my roommate for the week, turned the shower on in about
an 1/8th of a second. That’s experience for ya folks!
The Race- I had
been looking forward to testing myself against the best in a race against the
clock so I took this stage pretty seriously. There were a lot of new things for
me, the main two being doing a TT at altitude and doing a TT after 5 days of
racing. I rode a TT I was fine enough with, and lost something like 4 minutes
to TJ Van Garderen. We finished at the top of a crowd-crazed hill, then had to
wait for a shuttle to bring us back to the parking lot.
Stage 7: Boulder to Denver
![]() |
| One of the buffet's coffee talking trash about home |
Well, a lot went wrong here. Instead let’s focus on what
went right! The crowds in Boulder were amazing. Just completely unreal. Making
our way to sign in took way longer than any other stage, and the crowds during
the neutral rollouts were bonkers. Most of this stage I have no memory of due
to the crash, but I do very much remember the first part of the first neutral
lap we did in town. Thank you Boulder for coming out in force to support us.
Last thoughts
The crowd support every day was great.
I saw a lot of Colorado that I’ve never seen before, so that
was pretty rad.
Much goes into a race like this for each team. The amount of logistical stress that each team has to undertake must be huge, so thanks goes out to all the staff members of Team Jamis HB for taking care of all the details.
Finally, our team’s main goal for the week was to win the
KOM jersey. This was known by everyone in the days leading up to the start, and
was our number one mission. To be a part of Ben Jacques-Maynes winning the
jersey was an incredible experience. Whether it was something as simple as
“protect Ben” or something much, much more difficult like “tow Ben across to
the break”, myself and my teammates would’ve done anything to help us
accomplish our goal.
Writing this post has been healing in its own sense for me. I remembered things I assumed were gone forever, was able to reflect on the athlete of Ian, and as I continue to tick away on the trainer, writing this has helped remind me of the level I want to be at again.
Thank you all for reading and, again, a very sincere thank you for your continued support as I fight through recovery.
Monday, October 13, 2014
USA Pro Challenge prelude
I haven’t wanted my only recorded thoughts from the USA Pro
Challenge to be ones regarding my accident. I’ve been feeling better every day,
the fog has lifted and memories have returned from the race so I wanted to make
sure that I have record of the positive things as well.
It may seem strange but I still have good memories from this
race. No doubt the crash on the last stage was life-changing but I am a
competitor and I really enjoyed having the opportunity to test myself at this
level. In fact, my friend Benny and I were talking about things I could focus
on while my brain continues to heal, and he suggested competitive Sudoku as an
outlet. Since I’m still on the easy section of my brain exercise book, it might
be like trying to race the USA Pro Challenge as a category 4. Yes, it has been almost 8 weeks since the
race, which might set a record for me for longest time between race report blog
and race, but I have good excuses. Let’s get going!
I spent almost two weeks prior to the race training in
Boulder, trying to turn my sea level lungs into high-altitude capable lungs.
Turns out that riding at zero feet your whole life doesn’t prepare you for
mountain passes above 11k feet. I stayed with my friend Rhae, and spent most of
my time either riding or watching episodes of Eastbound and Down. This means that
half of my time was spent well.
After feeling better and better riding in Boulder, I headed
towards Aspen with my teammate Carson to meet up with the rest of our teammates
who had just finished the Tour of Utah. We spent the week prior to the race
staying in Snowmass Village, going on awesome rides, watching bad television,
and preparing for the big race.
The team presentation kicked off the race festivities and we packed into a gondola for the trip down the mountain. We signed lots of jerseys for the race to give to sponsors, and then headed out on stage to be presented by Phil and Paul. Important to know: I hadn’t brought clothes that matched our team’s dress code for the presentation. Oops! So if there are photos on the Internet that my pants look extra tight in, it’s because they were. They were Carson’s spare set. Luckily, Paul stood in front of me the whole presentation while he interviewed Matt Cooke (2013 KOM winner).
Tomorrow I'll post the actual race report.
Tweet
Friday, September 19, 2014
Enjoy The Little Things
Whether that is
drinking a latte out of a mug, or riding your bike, make sure that you do it
with full excitement. You’re incredibly lucky! To all my friends, as you may
have heard I was involved in a pretty heavy crash at the USA Pro Challenge. If
you just follow me on the blog and not on Twitter (???) you probably didn’t
even know that I was lucky enough to be doing that race. I hope to have an
update about the race on here at some point but for now I am going to focus on
the more currently relevant topic at hand, which was the big accident that made
its way around the internet.
I’d like to
avoid a career in horror/gore writing, so I’ll leave out a lot of details, but
I’ve had a fairly wild last three weeks and I’d love to share with all of you.
First of all, a huge thank you to all my friends and fans who have reached out
to me in this tough time with words of encouragement and support. Reading your
cards while in the hospital was a daily dose of positivity for me and they
definitely got me through some tough times. Thank you again for all the kind
words and I’m truly blown away by the support in our community.
Rewind. The last stage of the USA Pro Challenge started in Boulder and made our way to Denver. I remember the crowd being incredible in Boulder and I was thrilled to be in the race. More in a race-specific post later. The neutral laps in town are the last thing that I remember from the Pro Challenge. From outside information, I heard that we were guttered in a crosswind through a construction zone in the first couple miles of the race and I clipped a tall cone with my bars and put myself on the ground at a high speed. This put me off the back of the race and I began to work my way through the caravan. The cars stopped suddenly and I went face-first through the rear window of one of the team cars. The first crash was all road rash, and all my serious injuries came from this second unfortunate accident. It's important to know that I hold no one to blame for this, and I absolutely know that riding in the caravan is always a risk.
Rewind. The last stage of the USA Pro Challenge started in Boulder and made our way to Denver. I remember the crowd being incredible in Boulder and I was thrilled to be in the race. More in a race-specific post later. The neutral laps in town are the last thing that I remember from the Pro Challenge. From outside information, I heard that we were guttered in a crosswind through a construction zone in the first couple miles of the race and I clipped a tall cone with my bars and put myself on the ground at a high speed. This put me off the back of the race and I began to work my way through the caravan. The cars stopped suddenly and I went face-first through the rear window of one of the team cars. The first crash was all road rash, and all my serious injuries came from this second unfortunate accident. It's important to know that I hold no one to blame for this, and I absolutely know that riding in the caravan is always a risk.
What followed
next was part of the “Ian is incredibly lucky” sequence of events. I am
incredibly grateful for the medical staff of the Pro Challenge, and especially
Jeff, the first man on scene. He checked me out after the first crash, and
called the med car up in the caravan line to follow me back through the caravan
to make sure that that first crash hadn’t busted me up in a way that he didn’t
notice. Because of this precaution, I had the best possible care very quickly.
GRUESOME WARNING! I had cut my jugular when I went through the windshield and a
man in the main med car following me was a trauma surgeon, pinched off and
sewed my jugular up within 4 seconds of going through the window. Besides this,
the Medivac had recently decided to land in a nearby park to watch the race. I
went through the window around 800 feet from where the helicopter had landed,
which ensured that I made my way to the trauma hospital as soon as was
possible. The last “Ian is lucky” for now: I got taken to the #1 hospital for
brain injuries in all of Colorado. I was in that hospital for two weeks and
truly felt like I was in great hands the whole time. Thank you St. Anthony Hospital!!!
To avoid too
many gory details, I will say that I suffered a “traumatic brain injury”, I
severely cut my face and neck, broke my scapula, broke my occipital condyle in
my head, tore several tendons in my neck, and chipped four of my front teeth in half. Along with these things, I also
had perhaps the highest surface area of road rash I’ve had in several years
from the first crash. I have no memories from about the neutral start of the
stage, and nothing until around 2-3 days after the crash when I woke up from
the coma I was in. It’s been pretty amazing though, because the road rash
healed faster than any that I’ve had. My sister has been jokingly calling me
Wolverine because I’ve been healing so fast! The thing that has been especially
tough for me however is that the brain heals at its own rate. There is no
seeing your brain heal! I’ve been working on controlling what I can- cycling is
such a sport where everything is in your control, so I’ve been making sure that
I control what I can in my healing. That means staying on top of my physical
therapy and mental exercises.
I was at St. Anthony in Colorado for two weeks, and then experienced something incredible. Steve Berman, one of the title sponsors for my team, had heard of my accident and need to get back home to Washington. He offered his Private Jet for our use, and single handedly he got my family and myself home from Colorado. I am incredibly in debt to Mr. Berman and it showed me something incredible. Often times sponsors are just a blank face behind a computer screen, but with this incident, our title sponsor was a human being, and a tremendous one at that. We are deeply thankful for Mr. Berman and his gesture. I flew back home, in comfort, and transferred to the UW Rehab facility where I spent 8 days. I was discharged on Saturday and I’ve been home for the last couple days!
I was at St. Anthony in Colorado for two weeks, and then experienced something incredible. Steve Berman, one of the title sponsors for my team, had heard of my accident and need to get back home to Washington. He offered his Private Jet for our use, and single handedly he got my family and myself home from Colorado. I am incredibly in debt to Mr. Berman and it showed me something incredible. Often times sponsors are just a blank face behind a computer screen, but with this incident, our title sponsor was a human being, and a tremendous one at that. We are deeply thankful for Mr. Berman and his gesture. I flew back home, in comfort, and transferred to the UW Rehab facility where I spent 8 days. I was discharged on Saturday and I’ve been home for the last couple days!
My brain injury
had impacted some simple functions of life: My balance wasn’t great and my
depth perception was off. These two things being abnormal make walking hard!
Again, I had great care at UW Rehab and I went from hardly being able to walk,
to going on long strolls outside. I even got to ride the exercise bike for
twenty minutes! Today, I even stood on one foot for a minute, which gave me
some great positivity about the direction that my healing is going. The
abrasions and lacerations on my mouth and face have made it difficult for me to
drink normally, so I’ve been drinking my coffees out of a syringe, hence the
first sentence of this post.
Soon my scapula
will heal and my neck will be better and I’ll be able to remove the neck brace.
These are quantifiable improvements but the difficult thing will be making sure
that I heal my brain and don’t put myself at any risks. Up next for me is a
substantial quantity of Outpatient therapy. This is where I will be able to
track the progress that my brain is making in healing itself, and ultimately
where I will be given the good-to-go on driving as well as riding my bike
outdoors. I have no current limitations on exercising though, so I plan to be a
trainer interval KING this fall.
A quick story.
One of my first nights in the hospital I was woken in the morning by a nurse
drawing blood for testing. As a small hallucination, I was absolutely certain
that I was at a race and had gotten a visit from USADA. This continues, because
I was very sure that I was getting ready to race the Tusher in the Crusher (In
Utah) with my teammate Ben Jacques-Maynes. I drowsily requested more breakfast,
because I needed the energy for this race.
I hope that this above story reflects something for you all. I 100% plan on making a return to bike racing. It is important for me to make sure that my brain is healed before I do anything risky, but bike racing is a large part of my life. I am doing everything in my power to make sure I am able to return to the sport that I love so much. In fact, now is a good time to announce that I HAVE signed a contract for 2015 and will be a Professional cyclist again.
I hope that this above story reflects something for you all. I 100% plan on making a return to bike racing. It is important for me to make sure that my brain is healed before I do anything risky, but bike racing is a large part of my life. I am doing everything in my power to make sure I am able to return to the sport that I love so much. In fact, now is a good time to announce that I HAVE signed a contract for 2015 and will be a Professional cyclist again.
I would like to
make something else known. It was a big goal for me to do one of the Big Three
races in the US this year (Utah, Colorado, California), and I am very glad that
I had the opportunity to race the Pro Challenge. Although the ending was
obviously not to script, the race was still a great experience. More later.
I’d like to make
sure and include how lucky I am to have the support that I do from my family (Mom,
Dad, and Tela) and my girlfriend, Marissa. All four of these wonderful people
flew down to Colorado and were in the hospital when I woke up. I am beyond
grateful for the level of care they have given me during this “Worst case
scenario” type accident. I’d also like to give a special thanks to my Team’s
Manager, Sebastian Alexandre. Besides supporting me throughout my hospital
time, he also played a huge role in making sure that my family was looked after
as they went through what I’m sure was a very tough time.
Thanks for taking the time to hear my side of the story! Please know that any jokes in this post were meant …simply because I’m the one writing this. I understand that this situation is not something to make light of, so that was not my intention to. I’m a very lucky guy and understand what I got myself into.
Quick thought. In 2012 I crashed heavily at the Joe Martin Stage Race. In 2014 I won the Joe Martin Stage Race. By this logic, I will win the 2016 USA Pro Challenge. Take note.
Lastly, let’s
talk animal shirts. For those following along on twitter, you may have noticed
a trend of animal shirts while I worked on my rehab. They have all been gifts
during this whole…ordeal. When I woke up my mom had gotten me three animal
shirts as a surprise: The Orangutan, Panther, and Sugar Glider. Laurie O’brien
got me a tiger shirt as a surprise after seeing the first three. You all can
make your own opinions on them, but I love them. AND they all fit over the neck
brace easily.
Apologies for the long post, but it's been a pretty long three weeks. Thanks for taking the time to read my take on this whole experience! Know that I'm doing everything in my strength to come back an absolute machine.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Photos instead of words
It's raining in Seattle, and 58 degrees. I had just almost started to get comfortable with the desert climate, but now my body is super confused by the need to wear a sweater indoors. In fact, I just sneezed twice- this serves as excellent support to my earlier statement regarding the heat-confusion. Brrr.
I recently discovered all the TV shows that are available on Amazon Prime that aren't on Netflix, and I would rather be doing that than writing a play-by-play of Redmond Derby and Cascade. Instead, here are some really artistic photos that I've taken over the last couple of weeks:
I'm not a professional photographer like Andy Bokanev or DBC Photo. This is not a big statement. However, the mountains in Bend are big and the smoke from the nearby fires was thick, so here's my attempt:
The best part about racing in the smoke was when I also roasted marshmallows.
Our host house had a 400" projection screen and a Wii. They also had Mario Kart. This setup took us almost a week to figure out how to get the screen to turn on and do more than just hear the Wii jingling. We got it figured out by about Saturday morning, which explains our aggressive and crit-sharky evening.
This isn't in the first time that I've really enjoyed contrasting sizes, but it is the first time that it's involved dogs and stuffed bears. It's hard to tell in this photo, but that dog on the bear is a Great Dane.
Here's an interesting fact: A Great Dane mixed with a poodle is known as a "Great Danoodle" which I think is hilarious.
Speaking of hilarious, I have... very fair skin. Surprise! I made a little crash on Friday in the first miles of a 110 mile day. I ripped my shorts, and spent the next four hours telling myself that I needed to drop back to the car to get sunscreen to avoid the inevitable sunburn that I would get through the hole in my shorts. I never did, so now I have a leathery, raised, and very red mark on my leg. This will turn into a tan, and I will have a plum-sized circle tan for the next 8-16 months.
I seemed to not want to use my hands all week. I spent a majority of the road races trying to find a good spot to throw empty bottles. Littering is a pretty unfortunate norm, and since my pockets were full of snacks, I had to figure out where to keep my bottles. This translated to normal life activity as well:
It turns out that it is actually quite difficult to drink from a bottle without using your hands, but I practiced as much as I could while exercising.
Finally, big props to the Jelly Belly guys for defending the GC lead for 3 hard stages. I thought that my pre-existing friendship with Steve might give me some leash to go in the crit breakaway, lap the field and steal the GC lead, but turns out that wasn't the case. I'm almost certain Steve himeself chased me down every time I tried to go in the breakaway. Frenemy syndrome continues.
I'm home for a couple days, then exciting adventures await. Stay tuned.
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I recently discovered all the TV shows that are available on Amazon Prime that aren't on Netflix, and I would rather be doing that than writing a play-by-play of Redmond Derby and Cascade. Instead, here are some really artistic photos that I've taken over the last couple of weeks:
I'm not a professional photographer like Andy Bokanev or DBC Photo. This is not a big statement. However, the mountains in Bend are big and the smoke from the nearby fires was thick, so here's my attempt:
The best part about racing in the smoke was when I also roasted marshmallows.
Our host house had a 400" projection screen and a Wii. They also had Mario Kart. This setup took us almost a week to figure out how to get the screen to turn on and do more than just hear the Wii jingling. We got it figured out by about Saturday morning, which explains our aggressive and crit-sharky evening.
This isn't in the first time that I've really enjoyed contrasting sizes, but it is the first time that it's involved dogs and stuffed bears. It's hard to tell in this photo, but that dog on the bear is a Great Dane.
Here's an interesting fact: A Great Dane mixed with a poodle is known as a "Great Danoodle" which I think is hilarious.
Speaking of hilarious, I have... very fair skin. Surprise! I made a little crash on Friday in the first miles of a 110 mile day. I ripped my shorts, and spent the next four hours telling myself that I needed to drop back to the car to get sunscreen to avoid the inevitable sunburn that I would get through the hole in my shorts. I never did, so now I have a leathery, raised, and very red mark on my leg. This will turn into a tan, and I will have a plum-sized circle tan for the next 8-16 months.
I seemed to not want to use my hands all week. I spent a majority of the road races trying to find a good spot to throw empty bottles. Littering is a pretty unfortunate norm, and since my pockets were full of snacks, I had to figure out where to keep my bottles. This translated to normal life activity as well:
It turns out that it is actually quite difficult to drink from a bottle without using your hands, but I practiced as much as I could while exercising.
Finally, big props to the Jelly Belly guys for defending the GC lead for 3 hard stages. I thought that my pre-existing friendship with Steve might give me some leash to go in the crit breakaway, lap the field and steal the GC lead, but turns out that wasn't the case. I'm almost certain Steve himeself chased me down every time I tried to go in the breakaway. Frenemy syndrome continues.
I'm home for a couple days, then exciting adventures await. Stay tuned.
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