Wednesday, February 29, 2012

You're Nobody Till Somebody Kills You

Which means my wonderful car is a nobody. Which doesn't make sense, because I love this car. So since I love it, does that mean that if it is a nobody that I love nobody? If I love nobody, then does nobody love me? Oh dear.

However nobody that my car is, it was almost somebody. (SIDE NOTE! I just realized a flaw in Notorious BIG's song. If you're nobody unless you're killed, who does the killing? Mr. Notorious suggests that somebody is the guilty party- how do they become a somebody? Is the nobody getting killed by a ghost?) Ok, back on track.

What I've been scared to type is that my wonderful #swaggerwagon almost left us last week. At 254xxx miles I crashed my limousine on I5. Some of you may know me as the one person in the world who could drive the length of Bellingham-Seattle blindfolded, and this is still true. However, when two cars are all of a sudden facing South-bound on a North-Bound freeway and you are going 60 mph, there is only so much that I5 experience can help prevent. I am extremely good at Mario Kart on WII, Fast and Furious is the best movie ever, and Talledega Nights taught me how to be a person. None of these prevented my car from slamming into the car in front of me. Start the John Williams symphony, because ish just got real sad.
I can't say that I entirely agree, but if watching Fast and Furious one (through five) didn't keep me from getting into an accident I guess I'm a little bit skeptical.  Time to assess the damage, round one.

Whoa. Not too bad. I couldn't accurately capture in a photo, so imagine this-

Both sides, popped out like some dangling piƱata left over at a seis de Mayo celebration went haywire. Let's get to the real problems. The frame is bent, the hood is bent loco, the hood doesn't stay shut, and my electrical tape racing stripes are now misaligned. For a few sad, desperately tragic moments I thought that I was about to have to resort to transporting my things like this-

However, all is not lost in this household.  Calm yourself fans of and fellow #swaggerwagon companions, for this one lives on.
New hood latch!

Guess what! Me and the #swaggerwagon (get that trending folks) are going to live another fight. I was fairly busted up, but huge thanks to Noble Chiropractic for making me back to normal in no time at all. Seriously, if you're in Bellingham, or even Washington, you need to go see Dr. Noble. Even if you aren't hurt, you should go. Do it!

Fly on soldier, fly on.

(PS... was this foreshadowed by dreaming about new cars? Was I being punished? Did Steve getting a new car shift the driveway hierarchy, causing conflict with mine?)

I guess I'll drive it 400 miles this weekend to find out if it really works or not. If you see me hitchhiking on the side of any road leading to a bike race with a road or time trial bike, please pick me up?

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