Friday, April 27, 2012

100! slash JMSR day 1

This is post number 100 here. In celebration, someday in the future I will change my heading/main photo. Celebrate! I think that this is some sort of milestone because most blog sites die out after two months and 7 posts, according to a survey I made up for this blog post. Actually though, as per scientific data, the average lifespan of a blog is equivalent to that of a fruit fly. Did you know that fruit flies can live for up to 30 days in optimal conditions!?!

We did a TT here and it went. Steve rode well for 22nd, which is as referenced on twitter by Professor McNett as "on the outskirts of ballerville". I personally did a ride I was happy with for 37th. Let's talk about things more interesting than Lil'Steve and I.

  1. All throughout the day, I kept hearing things like "OMG times are sooo much slower than last year". This seemed to be true, since Mancebo won last year and this year, with his time from this year being 13 seconds slower than last years. However, one man says NO to these limitations, NO to these "times are slower" boundaries.

One of those is from last year, and one of those is from this year. Bravo!

     2.  After we did our race, Steve, David and I went riding for a bit of a cool down. A racer soon to
          be competing in the women's race asked us for the time. G-Shock time- 2:00. We informed  
          her that it was G-Shock time, and I think she misheard us. G-Shock Time. Because she got

     3.  It is possible to lose about 20 seconds in an uphill timetrial. In a kilometer. Thanks to Strava
          and Sebastian Salas (2nd place on the day) for letting me know this fact.

     4.  Post TT we went to Chipotle (sorry Lang) with Wheeler and some other famous professional
          cyclists. Celebrities even. I ate dinner. 10 minutes later was hungry. Based on the future
          duration of the bicycle race the next day (which is now today) we knew we needed some
          snacks. We found a healthy co-op type place, and all spent more money there on snacks than
          we did on dinner. Oops

     5.  I had a dream last night that I had a terrible experience at a Starbucks. Let me tell you about
         it. First things first, I ordered a cappuccino with SIX shots. On a side note, did you know that
         there is actually a drink name for the QUAD SHOT with just A LITTTTTLE bit of water on
         top? Yes, it's called an Italiano. Ok, moving on. My cappuccino was $5, and I payed with a
         twenty dollar bill. That's probably the strangest part of this dream- that I had a twenty dollar
         bill. That's a lot of money, and it does indeed weigh less than the two rolls of quarters that I
         was carrying around as cash last week. Back to the dream. My change is returned to me and  
         what I am given is $1.73. Now I'm no mathematician or accountant, but I'm pretty sure my 
         change should have been 10 dollars. Or something like that. So I politely ask the barista for
         my change and he leaves. Peace out, bra. Then I sit down with a manager, an excel
         spreadsheet, and my cappuccino and discuss business. I'm not sure why this took an entire
         dream, but eventually a deal was struck. I would not get my change, because the barista is
         ALWAYS right. However, instead of that change, I would get 40% share of Starbucks. All of it.
         Ummm. I guess deal.

    6.   Apparently here in R-can-saw they fish for snapping turtles. So they turtle for snapping
          turtles. Which is potentially the most dangerous game to try and capture, because those
          things don't cut your limbs off gently like a tiger, lion, or piranha would. They pretty much have to crush the digit, then rip it out. I can only imagine that fishing for snapping turtles, and
getting your finger bitten, is like when you are way too excited to get to that Black Friday sale and you slam your door shut on your Escalade and in the process get your finger caught in the door. Then suddenly the Escalade dives under water, pulling you down with it to the muck and the mire of the lake floor. And then you name your Escalade "Snappy", train it to walk on a tight rope while smoking a cigarette,  and travel the country with your new best friend and your missing right pointer finger.

That's as far as I can count this morning. So now I'm going to go race with the power of Snapping turtles and my lucky dollar from Vegas. Catch you on the flip-flop, ya hooligans.

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