Monday, June 6, 2011

Hoodlums

Mt Hood is over. I don't mean that the mountain erupted- pouring molten lava, chalky ash, and downed trees through the town of Moser. What I mean is that the stage race is over, obviously. C'mon, don't get all Pierce Brosnan on me and you better not Tommy Lee Jones this.




Putting volcano jokes aside, this race was a real blaster. It definitely shook the surrounding area when we erupted out of the start gates every race. I really ruptured that tire on the last stage though. After that descent, all our faces were ashy with terror! It is too bad that I didn't win any prizes to put on my mantle, but I still lava you! Eyjafjallajökull.

Unfortunately this race did not go very well for me, but Lang had a great ride on the queen stage for 4th on the day. That's pretty baller. Meanwhile, I was noting how stage races affect the riders in them. First of all, hair grooming is low on the list- Behind: Racing, eating, sleeping, eating, tweeting eachother while sitting in the same room, napping, making "Really?" jokes, eating, and finally, hair.

I touched on Lang's mullet in the last post, but I didn't realize how contagious it was becoming!
Here is Lang's product-
Day 2
Day 3
 Dan Bechtold bringing the Kentucky Waterfall!

Colin tried, but his grows horizontally instead of vertically, shucks!

I didn't get a picture of what Spencer was working with, but it was the true definition of a Canadian Passport. I googled "canadian mullet" to see if I could find a close comparison to Spencer, and I found this- It's pretty close.

Meanwhile, Kennett and I are the only ones who were taught self respect and grooming by our mothers and kept ourselves Business in the front : Party-somewhere-else-but-the-rear-also-business-there . Here is a perfect example of how Mama Crane taught me how to keep the Mississippi Mudflap in control
All this talk about hair is the perfect lead-in to this months poll. PLEASE VOTE!!!!! A serious issue we need to discuss is the quantity of hair that lives on my arms. I believe that in order to step up in my cycling I need to remove this hair, much like the hair on my legs. There are MANY pro's to this idea, and a couple of cons. Here are both sides-

PROS:
  • +40 watts whenever wearing short sleeves
  • Style
  • +10 watts when wearing LS skinsuit
  • Would look wayyyy more tan/skinnier/less arm thickness
  • Lose roughly 10 lbs of body weight = faster climbing
  • If I ever need to outswim a flock of barracudas I'd be sleaker in the water
CONS:
  • What if it grows back thicker and dare I say, not blonde?
  • What if it grows back like Chris Parrish's????
A picture of Chris with Mike Olheiser (winner of the crit)
  • I don't ever swim with barracudas
  • Would need to apply sunscreen, since currently arm hair counts as SPF 1million.
Here is a photo that might help with the poll decision. Adorable times in the van with Kennett


Now that all that madness is out of the way, here are the last couple pictures from this trip.

Maybe where Dan Harm was staying? What you can't see from this picture is that we are about to be merging onto the freeway


The bridge that had to be crossed to get to the TT. Tight fit! Luckily Colin is as brave as Robin Hood and navigated the van no problem
People that aren't me or any of my associates riding through the snowbanks on the queen stage KOM 1
This picture describes my crit pretty accurately. Riding with Lang, and dodging crashes.
Lang first HB guy visible and that's my hairy arm and front wheel


I liked this house a lot and I regret not trying to get a better picture of this ish. It reminded me of the book The Big Orange Splot and it made me feel HAPPY of myself!


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