The weather forecast for wherever I am headed right now is slightly frightening. I’ll be honest, my fair skin prefers 55 and cloudy over 100 and soupy humid. I’ve really been throwing my body for a loop recently, never being in one climate long enough to really adapt. If only I was able to spend time training with my body wrapped in garbage bags or I lived in Montana with Alan Adams I’d be comfortable coming into the Georgia heat.
First, Bellingham set a city-record for longest number ofdays without reaching 70 degrees. Then I went to Tulsa, where it was indeed warm. I had just gotten a hang of swimming through the air while walking when I boarded a plane and headed to the State of Milwaukee. Just kidding, but really, Logan asked us if Milwaukee was a State. Wisconsin was pretty ideal temperature, mid 70s and just darn pleasant. Now I am on a plane headed towards somewhere where I will take some sort of vehicle to Augusta. Luckily I am traveling with some people this time so they can help me find a pay-phone if needed.
This plane flight has allowed me to really brainstorm ways to stay cool while racing and living in Sauna-like conditions. Here is what I’ve come up with so far. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to comment and share!
-Ice Socks: This is when it’s ok for me to buy women’s pantyhose. Ice socks are a norm for hot races, and it makes a huge difference to be able to have one on your neck or in your jersey pocket to help cool you down a bit. Fill the pantyhose up with ice, cut and tie ‘em off, and you’re good to go.
-T-shirt Time: Just you and the bros, wearing the fresh tees, neck V’s, glasses are Versace, married to the mob but I’m a bachelor, baby.
-Frozen Bottles: Pretty much any time in this climate that you start a ride or race with water in the bottles it will be warm in 5 minutes, and hot in 10. There is nothing more refreshing then taking a big sip of warm water, or pouring said warm water onto your head during a race. And by nothing more refreshing, I mean that most things are actually more refreshing. It is pretty anti-climactic to pour water down your back and instead of feeling briefly cooler, you just feel let-down. Much like how Kennett just pees all over himself in races, feeling warm liquid run down your body isn’t refreshing. To somewhat solve this; starting all bike events with frozen bottles might be a game changer. First let me explain how ice works. It melts. Now that we have that figured out, as the ice melts you get colder water, later into the race. Cool!
-Frozen jersey: Spencer tried this out in Tulsa, and I think with some technique adjustment it could revolutionize hot weather races forever. As science started to become more and more prevalent in cycling, various innovations became popular. Allen Lim was the first person to incorporate ice-vests into Garmin’s time trial warmups, citing how the body reacts better if the core stays cool. So before every time trial, riders would be on the trainer wearing ice-vests that are so packed down with ice that they resemble life-vests. But the problem is riders can’t race in these vests! So in Tulsa, Spencer soaked his jersey in water and then froze it. Pretty creative, but the problem was the crispy-ness when removed from the freezer. Frozen things aren’t very malleable, so in order to make this work successfully, I will need to soak the jersey in an alcohol/water mix because that doesn’t freeze solid. But not too much of that, because I don’t want to smell like a City bus.
-Cool Sunglasses / Leather Jacket: Pretty self-explanatory, all the above are how to stay cool, but how do you REALLY stay cool?
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